Maria believed it was her fault that mother lay in bed – until she understood the illness.

A new campaign puts focus on the importance of open communication between parents with mental health issues and their children.

Maria Rask, a 24-year-old woman from Nibe, grew up with a mother who suffers from anxiety, depression, and ADHD. (Photo: © (private photo)) 3 minutes ago

Maria Rask clearly remembers what it was like to be 13 years old and come home from school. Her mother was still lying in bed in her dark bedroom, unwashed and unable to attend meetings with other parents.

What no one knew was that Maria's mother was suffering from anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Therefore, Maria Rask couldn't understand why her mother was feeling poorly.

- I started to withdraw from my classmates. I thought it was me who had made my mother sick, and if it was me, then I could also make my father sick, she recalls.

It's not surprising that Maria Rask turns the blame inward. It has significant consequences for children when they don't understand their parents' mental health issues.

Psykiatrifonden, Børns Vilkår, and Ole Kirk's Fond are now focusing on the importance of parents with mental health issues being open with their children in a new campaign.

Tina Mastrup, a child expert at Psykiatrifonden, explains that nearly every third parent with a mental health condition has difficulty talking to their children about it.

- The most important thing is to tell the children what's going on and why. If you don't do that, they might think 'maybe it's my fault that my mother sleeps so much' or 'maybe it's because I'm not nice enough that my father doesn't pay attention to me,' she says.

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It doesn't help to say that mother has a severe depression

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The first time Maria Rask heard about her mother's condition was when she was a teenager. Her mother had up to eight anxiety attacks a day, and doctors couldn't determine the cause. Eventually, she was admitted to Aalborg Hospital.

- The first thing I saw when I came out was a brick with a straitjacket. My mother had told me that she was going to sleep at someone nice's house in Aalborg, and that wasn't the image I got, Maria Rask recalls.

The family quickly received help in explaining the condition to their three children, and it was a great relief for Connie Rask.

- It doesn't help that I tell my children that mother has a recurring severe depression, she says.

Maria Rask also remembers the relief of understanding how her mother was feeling – without all the adult jargon.

- We had a visit from Doctor Smart, as he was called at the hospital. It was a psychiatrist who came and explained my mother's condition to us, so we children could understand it and ask any questions we had.

> You can indeed be a good parent, even if you have a mental health condition.

> Tina Mastrup, Psykiatrifonden

And even though it's important to explain the condition to the children, it's even more important, according to Tina Mastrup, to ask them how they're doing.

- The most important thing is to ask your children what they notice and think about. It doesn't have to be complicated. The only wrong question you can ask is the one you don't ask, the child expert explains.

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We need to talk about the difficult things

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Today, Maria Rask is 24 years old, and her mother continues to battle her condition.

But they share a common understanding of how Connie Rask is feeling, and that makes everyday life easier. For example, when Connie Rask needs to go on a drive to clear her mind.

- I know that Maria sometimes thinks that my mother is going to take her own life, but I can say 'no, I'm not going to take my own life.'

- I know that there are many who think that we shouldn't talk about suicide and self-harm, but we will be forced to talk about it, because it is a part of our family, Connie Rask says.

And even though she's improved, Connie Rask continues to struggle with her condition. (Photo: © (private photo))

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