Is it enough to pay 500 kr for a confirmation? Gitte asked both her friends and ChatGPT.

Is it appropriate to give 500 DKK for a confirmation? Gitte has asked both her friends and ChatGPT

According to experts, it can be a social game with high significance to hit the level for confirmation gifts.

It is high season for confirmations currently, and that means many confirmation gifts need to be given. (Photo: © Colourbox)

By Christine Aagaard-Kragh ( [email protected] ) 54 min. ago

Is a gift of 200 DKK enough? Should it be 500 DKK? Or 1.500 DKK?

It can be hard to gauge the level for confirmation gifts.

The debate runs year after year, from Facebook groups to radio programs.

Gitte Røn has had to attend a confirmation for the first time in several years. So she has done a lot of research to get the right gifts. (Photo: © private photo)

One of those who has faced the dilemma this year is Gitte Røn from Varde.

- I know I want to give money, because that's what the young people want. But how many, and what level it should be, I have been in doubt about, says Gitte Røn.

And she is not alone in having that doubt, say experts.

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A social game of bowling

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One of them is behavioral scientist Pelle Guldborg from RUC.

- We have trouble with confirmation gifts, because it is one of the few parties where we give money as gifts, and the gift is often wrapped up in full public view. That means that everyone can compare the value of their gift, and so there are many norms one can bump into, he explains.

For one should not give too much, and rather not too little.

- If one gives too large a gift, one is taken for a show-off. If one gives too small a gift, one is taken for a tightwad. And so one gets into a social game of bowling, where one can end up putting one's foot in the wrong place, and there is no one who wants that, says Pelle Guldborg.

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Finding one's place in the hierarchy

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In Varde, Gitte Røn is most concerned about her gift sending a clear message:

- It is important for me that the confirmands can feel that they mean something to me, says she.

She has taken up the topic in her girlfriend group, talked to the neighbor and asked ChatGPT.

- I have landed on 500 DKK for my ex-husband's niece, where I will give the gift myself. And 1.100 DKK for my close friends' daughter, where I will give a gift together with my two adult children, explains Gitte Røn.

And exactly that with doing a little research and talking to others about the gift level, that is a good idea, says Andreas Lieberoth, behavioral scientist at Aarhus University. There is indeed a difference between whether one is a grandmother, a neighbor or a close friend of the family.

- We have very different relationships with the confirmand. And one should measure oneself according to those who are in the same boat as oneself, explains Andreas Lieberoth.

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How to get it right according to researchers

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Pelle Guldborg's (tv) three good tips:

* Look at where you stand in relation to the confirmand. The closer one is, the more one gives, and those who give the most are typically parents and grandparents. So stick a finger in the ground and find out what their level is and adjust accordingly.

* Listen to others, you know, who are invited, what they give. It's nice to know some who are in the same position in relation to the confirmand as oneself.

* If you are in doubt, give less rather than too much. So it only affects you if you end up looking cheap, but it doesn't affect others. You can even have a little cash in your pocket and be able to top up, before you hand over the envelope, if you see what others give.

Andreas Lieberoth's (th) three good tips:

* Check with the others who are roughly in the same position in relation to the confirmand as oneself. Compare with family, neighbors or whoever one belongs to.

* If the confirmand wants something that one thinks is trivial, remember that it may be their only chance to get exactly that thing.

* Regardless of what, give a gift that does not speak down to the confirmand. Stay away from gifts that signal that you do not understand the young person.

Warning: This article was translated by a Large Language Model, in case of doubt, you can always visit the original source.