Lost her daughter two years ago: Jane's longing grows during the summer holiday

We'll start by rewinding time just under two years to July 27, 2024.

Josephine was helping in the garden at the Justinussen family's house in Vejle. She was doing this together with her mother, her stepfather, and her three siblings. The sun was shining, and the temperature was around 24 degrees Celsius, while weeds were being pulled and loud music was playing. Everyone was happy, as it was the end of three weeks of vacation together.

> "Now there's one person missing, someone we can't create new memories with. I find that incredibly hard (...)"

> Jane Justinussen on spending summer vacation without her daughter Josephine

Two days later, the family from Vejle had been at the hospital for over 24 hours when two neurologists had to give them the news that Josephine had been declared brain dead. Suddenly, the considerations were not about which amusement park the family should visit, or which ice cream they should have after lunch, but instead, whether Josephine should be an organ donor, because she would not survive her brain hemorrhage.

- Then I think I actually cover my ears and think, if I don't hear it, then it hasn't happened. I just break down for the 127th time. It can't be true, says Josephine's mother, Jane Justinussen, about the moment the family received the news from the doctors.

Today is July 16. It is summer vacation again. It will soon be two years since Josephine died, but summer vacation will never be the same in the family, because now a member is missing.

- It's such a happy time. You're supposed to go out and experience things and create new memories. But now there's one person missing, someone we can't create new memories with. I find that incredibly hard. When you have to book a vacation, you have to book one place less than you're used to, and it really makes you aware that she is also very much missed during summer vacation, says Jane Justinussen.

Read also: Summer vacation can make grief extra clear: 'There will always be a person who is missing' ( https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/indland/sommerferien-kan-goere-sorgen-ekstra-tydelig-der-vil-altid-vaere-en-person-der-mangler )

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Like a bolt from the blue

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Until her brain hemorrhage, Josephine was a lively 10-year-old girl just like any other. She loved to dance and spent a lot of time immersed in the Japanese anime universe. She hadn't been sick, but it turned out she was born with a defect in her brain that had caused a hemorrhage between the brainstem and the cerebellum. And even though 112 was called the moment she collapsed, there was nothing the doctors could do.

> "It may be that I can lie and cry all night, but I have to get up the next day. There are some children who need their mother."

> Jane Justinussen

- She was at her father's house when it happened, but he tells me that she was practically dancing in bed at ten o'clock, and then this happened at five o'clock, says Jane Justinussen.

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A new everyday life

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About two weeks after Josephine's death, school started again for her three siblings, and a new everyday life knocked on the door. An everyday life where the family had to get used to only needing five chairs around the table when eating dinner.

- What has kept me going is that the other children also needed a mother. So it may be that I can lie and cry all night, but I have to get up the next day. There are some children who need their mother.

The other children continued in their classes and with the leisure activities they also did before the summer vacation, but Jane Justinussen had to take bereavement leave for six months, after which she was signed off sick from work. Only after another couple of months did she begin to go back to work for a few hours at a time.

- For my part, almost a year passed before I really felt that my everyday life began to resemble something I could see myself in and also be happy with.

* Here Josephine is seen on her tenth birthday a few months before her death. (Photo: © Private)

* Josephine's grave is decorated with pandas and other Asian symbols because she loved anime. (Photo: © Private)

* Josephine together with her mother Jane. (Photo: © Private)

1 / 3 Here Josephine is seen on her tenth birthday a few months before her death. (Photo: © Private) 1 / 3 Josephine's grave is decorated with pandas and other Asian symbols because she loved anime. (Photo: © Private) 2 / 3 Josephine together with her mother Jane. (Photo: © Private) 3 / 3

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Summer vacation is particularly hard

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For the Justinussen family, every other summer vacation is spent with grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins in a large rented summer house. This year was the first time in the summer house without Josephine.

- I found that extra hard. Last time we were there, we were all there. This time she was just missing. Not just among the siblings, but also in relation to the cousins.

That is one of the reasons why summer vacation is a difficult time.

- Seeing them become older teenagers, and Josephine, she is still ten years old. She should have been 12 and been part of some of all those quirky things those teenagers get up to. It's been a hard week, with all of us gathered together.

In the backyard of the house in Vejle, Jane Justinussen's husband has built a mound and placed a bench on it. They use it to find peace and quiet to remember Josephine. (Photo: © Magnus Rosendal Damborg)

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Family expansion

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Even though the grief never disappears, life goes on. Jane Justinussen and her husband were clear that they did not want more children. But after Josephine's death, they felt the home was very quiet during the weeks when they only had one child living there. Therefore, it wasn't long before they looked at each other one day and agreed to try to bring a new child into the world.

- No one knows what life brings. I think this is the most insane thing a parent can be subjected to. I can't imagine anything worse. But we just agreed that we still had a lot of love to give.

Shortly after, Jane Justinussen became pregnant. Today, little brother Phelix is a lively boy of about 6 months old.

Warning: This article was translated by a Large Language Model, in case of doubt, you can always visit the original source.