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Sports association for parents: Here's how you should behave on the sidelines

DR-Inland in Denmark

Friday, February 14, 2025 • 12:28 PM UTC - in Denmark

Parents at sports clubs: Here's how to behave properly on the sidelines

The parents should stop focusing so much on goals and results, says the Danish Sports Federation (DIF). In the North Jutland handball club Nibe HK, the advice has strengthened the community

Michelle Bergmann and Tilde Glenborg play for the U/15 team in Nibe HK. - The community is the most important, they say. (Photo: © Ralf Dahl - DR Nordjylland)

By Jesper Knox ([email protected]) 13 minutes ago

Instead of giving your daughter 10 kroner if she scores or wins the game, focus instead on making sure she has fun. And stop shouting at the referee.

These are some of the guidelines that apply in the North Jutland handball club Nibe HK. Here they follow the new recommendations from the Danish Sports Federation, which aims to ensure the well-being of children in sports clubs.

Also read: Sports Federation will limit screen time for athletes and their parents (https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/seneste/idraetsforbund-vil-begraense-skaermbrug-idraetsudoeverne-og-deres-foraeldre)

- We just want our parents to behave properly, both towards other teams and towards us, so we all have a good experience, says Michelle Bergmann, U/15 player Nibe HK

In the handball club, there are requirements for parental behavior. This includes parents on the sidelines to lower the volume and stop focusing so much on the result.

Before the start of the season, all parents are called to a meeting where it is emphasized that a positive tone should be maintained. And it also means that parents have become good at self-regulation, says Tore Robak, who has a daughter who plays on the club's U/13 team:

- If someone is completely inappropriate, we can say: Remember what expectations the club has of us as parents, he says.

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DIF's five thumb rules for sports parents:

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* Focus on the child

* Listen to their experiences

* Ask curious questions

* Show that you are interested

* Contribute positively to the sports community

The new guidelines have been developed among other things by sports psychologist and owner of Mental Motion, Janne Mortensen. She praises Nibe HK.

- It's good with parent meetings, but even better if the club works to create a concrete parenting strategy.

Michelle Bergmann and Tilde Glenborg play for the U/15 team in Nibe HK. And even though they say that their own parents behave well when they play a game - they know well how tiring it can be when some parents get a little too involved.

- We just want to have the best experience possible - and for our parents to behave properly towards other teams and us, so we all have a good experience, says Michelle Bergmann.

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Still allowed to be happy about a win

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According to Tilde Glenborg, the club has managed to get both parents and players to understand that handball is at least as much about community as it is about winning.

- I think there is a really good community in the club, where we are good at supporting each other across teams - and cheering for each other.

At the Danish Sports Federation, the goal of the new guidelines is to focus on the social aspect rather than the results, explains Liselotte Byrnak, program manager for Future Sports for Children and Youth at DIF.

- We want to protect the strong communities. Otherwise, young people will quickly find something else to devote themselves to, says formand for Nibe HK, Monica Nord. (Photo: © Ralf Dahl, DR Nórdjylland)

- If the first thing a parent says is: Did you win? How many goals did you score? Then that's what they value - and that focus also comes to the children. The questions should be moved to the fourth or fifth row, and the focus should be on the social and development-oriented instead, says Liselotte Byrnak.

But it is still allowed to win when playing in Nibe HK, which parent Tore Robak is happy about.

- We really want to win and play in the best leagues if we can. But I think the social aspect comes first, so the sports development must come.

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